September 25, 2026

“Authenticity shows people who you are, but breathing shows people how you are.”

– Sari de la Motte

Podcast Transcript

No, I won’t, won’t.

No, I won’t stay in my lane.

I don’t, don’t.

No, I don’t stay in my lane.

No, I won’t, won’t.

No I won’t stay in my lane.

I don’t, don’t.

No, I don’t.

Sari de la Motte 

As I say all the time, breathing is, first of all, communicated. Other people pick up on your breathing, so that’s why leaders show up as a leader when they can breathe under stress because people can tell.

You’re listening to Sari Swear on the Sari Swears podcast. Well, welcome everyone to another episode of Sari Swears. We have my most obsessive fan with us today.

Coach K 

Yeah, super obsessive.

Sari de la Motte 

Coach K is back stalking me.

Coach K 

You look really good today.

Sari de la Motte 

I’m kind of doing like a flash dance thing-

Coach K 

I love it.

Sari de la Motte 

… right now.

Coach K 

Maniac on the dance floor, good stuff.

Sari de la Motte 

If you’re watching this, my sweatshirt says, “I solemnly swear a lot.”

Coach K 

Yeah, you do.

Sari de la Motte 

So, I do. Yeah.

Coach K 

You’re probably going to do some today.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah, fucking right I am. But today we’re talking about the one thing that will completely change your trial practice. And so, we better bring it, because I mean that’s a big claim-

Coach K 

It is.

Sari de la Motte 

… that this one thing is going to change their trial practice. So, we won’t make them wait anymore. What is the one thing?

Coach K 

The one thing is breathing.

Sari de la Motte 

Okay. We were not surprised by that.

Coach K 

So, you want me to-

Sari de la Motte 

It wasn’t exciting.

Coach K 

… say, “The one thing,” and … Drum roll?

Sari de la Motte 

No, but I’m thinking that they’re thinking, “Really, that’s it? And so, I’m breathing. What do you mean breathing? Just existing?” And that is not what we mean. What do we mean?

Coach K 

What we mean is breathing well.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes.

Coach K 

Yes. Breathing well, being intentional about your breathing, having these certain breathing practices and habits so that when you get into dicey situations, that habit kicks in.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes, and it’s going to affect so many things that we’re going to talk about in just a minute. But first let’s talk about why are they not breathing well in the first place? What is happening in the standard trial attorney’s life so that they are, when we say not breathing well, what we mean is holding the breath high up in the shoulders, high up in the chest, taking shallow breaths, being stressed all the time. Normally when you’re not breathing well it’s going to show up as tension, anxiety, stress. So, why aren’t they breathing well?

Coach K 

They’re in a job that hijacks their nervous system on a regular basis.

Sari de la Motte 

How so?

Coach K 

They’re in a job where it’s high risk. They’re asking for money, they’re working through these cases that are really, really traumatic. I mean, just fill in the blank. There’s so many things they do in their job every day. Opposing counsel that’s sending them emails that are jacking up their nervous system, the job is tough in that respect. It’s why these breathing practices are so important.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah, and I think that this particular field more than any other really fucks with your sense of self, meaning you’re constantly questioning yourself and whether or not you’re making the right decision. You’re constantly having to hold back going for the jugular. And it was just happening in the text chain with my masterminds this week, it was just like, “I’m going to kill this attorney,” and I get it because that’s a lot of the tricks that the defense makes. Or uses, I should say. And so absolutely, I think it is hijacking the nervous system. And the way that the nervous system gets hijacked is through not breathing well and causing that. So, let’s talk a little bit about the science. What happens to the body when you are either holding your breath or breathing very shallowly? What’s actually physically happening?

Coach K 

Well, what’s physically happening is yeah, all of a sudden this triggered feeling that you’re getting is it’s your survival instincts kicking in and your amygdala starts firing. It hijacks everything. If you think of your brain like a computer, anything that does this very linear processes that would be smooth, it just throws in every old awful thing you could think of just to survive. And then, what that does is it screws with your chemicals, your nervous system starts getting on fire, and next thing you know you might not be saying anything, but you’re just sitting there like this not breathing.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah. So, when you’re holding your breath your body’s going to start releasing cortisol, because it’s readying you for fight or flight. And then, when you think about this, just like when you are scared, for example, and you’re trying not to be seen, what do you do? You hold your breath. Like in the corner you’re holding your breath. Or if you are getting ready to fight, I’m thinking about that episode where Dwight was talking about how he could-

Coach K 

Oh, in The Office?

Sari de la Motte 

… the whole karate … Yeah, in The Office. And Michael’s like, “Go ahead and hit me in the stomach.” And then he hit him twice and he’s like, “I wasn’t prepared for the second one.” Because when you’re like, I wouldn’t know but this is the boy thing, I guess. But when somebody’s going to hit you, you’re not breathing well. You’re holding.

Coach K 

Somebody’s going to punch you, their hand, your stomach goes like this.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes. So, that’s another way that we naturally, our bodies naturally do that. It’s not a bad thing necessarily, that is how our bodies are wired is to be like fight or flee or freeze. And normally those three things, the respiratory system is going to be arrested so that the body can go and do other things. The problem is in our modern world, and especially with plaintiff attorneys in their world, is that that’s constantly being triggered all of the time. Because it’s not just the things that we were just talking about, but also talk a little bit about secondary trauma. We did a whole podcast on that. If you guys haven’t listened to it, you want to go back and check that one out. But secondary trauma can also lead to some of this burnout, because on the opposite side you have this kind of give up breathing.

It’s not energetic either, and talk a little bit about how secondary trauma gets us there.

Coach K 

Well, secondary trauma, I mean, you’re looking at these cases, you’re talking about these cases that are so heavy, wrongful death or whatever case that you’re working in, and you’re seeing that all day long and you’re used to seeing that all day long. That’s your job. And a lot of attorneys, they compartmentalize and they’ve learned to compartmentalize in a way so that they don’t get affected by this, but they are getting affected by this. You may think, “Okay, I’m just going to move on from this and I’m going to partition this. It’s not a problem,” but your body is reacting differently. Your body is actually going, “Wow, this is crazy. Oh my God.” And it’s trying to protect itself. So, just looking through those files are creating this trauma response and it wears you out, not to mention the fact that you can get PTSD-like symptoms from it.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes, and I think one of the things that’s so fascinating about breathing, and we want to highly recommend the book Breath by something Nestor, Nestor somebody. It’s yellow on the front and it’s called Breathe.

Coach K 

Breath.

Sari de la Motte 

I should look that up. Oh, Breath, yeah, not Breathe. Nestor Neremos.

Coach K 

I’m always bad with remembering-

Sari de la Motte 

I don’t remember, yeah.

Coach K 

… authors names.

Sari de la Motte 

Shoot. Well, my listeners know I never look up things beforehand like I should. But one of the cool things about breathing too is it’s like a filtration system. So, it actually will filter out a lot of the cortisol, a lot of the excess adrenaline, for example. And when you are holding your breath or breathing shallowly, you’re activating randomly called your sympathetic nervous system, which is the one that’s ramping up for fight or flight. But when you’re breathing well, deep, low breathing, you’re activating your parasympathetic nervous system, which are going to be giving you the different chemicals that are calming and-

Coach K 

Oxytocin.

Sari de la Motte 

Oxytocin, right. And so, this is really going to help because what we have found is that so many, and this is true for you and I as well, is that it’s so easy to be reactive. In fact, you’re reading a really fascinating book right now on reactivity. Tell us a little about that book that you’re reading.

Coach K 

Yeah, it’s Your Survival Instinct is Killing You. I believe that’s what it’s called.

Sari de la Motte 

That’s a killer title.

Coach K 

Yeah, and really what it’s all about is how us as humans, and especially since the advancement in technology and smartphones, everything else, that we have a very, very difficult time with discomfort. And I mean, the most minimal amounts of discomfort, well, you just pick up a smartphone you don’t have to deal with it.

Sari de la Motte 

So, we’re distracting ourselves all the time-

Coach K 

Distracting ourselves-

Sari de la Motte 

… from discomfort.

Coach K 

… and we’re conditioning ourselves to always be in that survival mode so that we are easily triggerable. I mean, think about when you’re looking at a phone and somebody tries to get your attention quick, you get triggered, you get reactive because you’re so in that space. Well, the more and more that we do this, we can’t adjust or take on any kind of discomfort. It’s too much.

Sari de la Motte 

We are all very reactive right now, and that is a liability for a trial attorney, because when we are so reactive we will send off the email that we probably shouldn’t have sent. We will get knocked off our game in trial when they pull a dirty trick and we want to be less reactive. So, let’s talk before we talk about how to become a better breather, what is available once you are getting your breath under control and you can be a better breather? What’s available to trial attorneys?

Coach K 

Well, what’s available is you can start really showing up as fully you.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes.

Coach K 

You’re not showing up as you when you’re reactive and you’re triggered, you’re showing up as some old version of you or some version of you that’s trying to protect itself. And it can be very childlike, it can be all kinds of things, but it’s not the best version of you.

Sari de la Motte 

Are you speaking of someone you know?

Coach K 

I was really kind of directing this at you know.

Sari de la Motte 

I meant you, buddy. No, obviously both of us, but I was thinking, as many of our listeners know, you are 18 months into your sobriety journey and alcohol is at its very core a distractive device.

Coach K 

Oh totally. Yeah. It’s a buffer, it does all the things that you need so you don’t have to be with discomfort.

Sari de la Motte 

Exactly. So when that got taken away, it was very much reactional for a long time.

Coach K 

Oh, it was like an open wound.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes, yes. And so, I think that when you are able to have this kind of centering space you are less reactive, but you also are more present, you were saying earlier when we were talking before we got recording. So, talk a little bit more about how being a better breather, sounds so funny to say that, makes you more present.

Coach K 

Well, it makes you more present, you just naturally, if you focus on your breath and you’re focusing on your body, and these are some things that we’ll talk about a little later, it just brings you into the present moment. And if you’re in the present moment, you’ll be having better conversations with people, better connections, you’ll take on more information that you maybe not would’ve noticed. I mean, we’ve talked about the reticular activating system in the brain, which is all about awareness, and you’ll be more aware of things. And what the reticular activating system in the brain is, it’s like you’ve been looking and wanting to get this, say, a red Corvette forever and you’ve wanted this. And then all of a sudden you buy that car, and then when you’re driving and you’re on the road, you start seeing them all over the place. Well, it’s all about proximity and awareness.

You’re aware of this so now you see it. So think about all this information, and even things in your life that could be these great opportunities that would pass you by because you’re not being present. It’s pretty much the biggest thing that you can do as any human is be a good breather.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah, and I think the question is, is my not breathing, is that causing me not to be present, or not being present, is that causing me to hold my breath? And I think it’s circular.

Coach K 

It is.

Sari de la Motte 

It’s not one or the other, it’s both. It’s like when we’re constantly in our head and we’re thinking about all the things we needed to be doing, and all the bullshit the defense is pulling and all of that, we’re going to hold our breath, but also holding our breath is going to cause us to go into our head and be thinking-

Coach K 

It’s a vicious cycle.

Sari de la Motte 

It is a vicious cycle. And so, I’m thinking about how we talk about trial being ready for anything at any time, and really being able to turn on a dime and pivot, and that is going to take breathing. In fact, this is what we were talking about. I was saying, “What were we talking about coming out of the courtroom last week?” We were talking about how leaders can breathe well under pressure.

Coach K 

Well under pressure. Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

That true leadership is when everything is fucking hitting the fan. And we know that we want to show up as a leader in court because jurors are just like, “What the hell is happening?” And they’re looking for a leader, is that you are the calm presence. You are the calm in the storm. I mean, you can even talk about this in terms of parenting. It is so easy to get drawn into your kid’s tantrum or your kid’s stuff, but it’s the calmness of staying centered and grounded that actually helps you manage and help navigate your child through that scenario.

Coach K 

Yeah, it’s the whole concept of not matching their energy.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes. Yes. Again, I think of breathing as kind of an anchor. It’s like kind of anchoring you and grounding you in the present moment so that you can see the opportunities, so that you won’t be pulled into other people’s dramas. And the other thing that you said besides being less reactive and being more present is that it also helps you retain information. That might be something that’s helpful to trial attorneys.

Coach K 

Maybe.

Sari de la Motte 

Right? Because we talk a lot about how we don’t create our openings word for word. We’re creating on our feet. We just have a loose outline, and they’re doing it from scratch, from the beginning. And so, instead of memorizing, because that’s not what we have them do either, it’s really being grounded in the present moment and speaking about the case in a conversational way. How will breathing help them, you think, in terms of this information management piece?

Coach K 

Well, it frees up all that kind of … you’ve got all this clutter in your brain and all this bandwidth that’s clogged up, mental bandwidth. And I work with my clients a lot on this on what’s taking up your bandwidth. And what happens is you’ll have all that bandwidth that’s so taken up, and then if you breathe, it’s like the snow globe settling. All that snow just settles to the bottom.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes.

Coach K 

And then it creates all this space for so many things that you wouldn’t notice.

Sari de la Motte 

Well, and the other thing that you were talking about at command courtroom last month is that when you slow down and you slow down your breathing, the thoughts are going to keep coming. We can’t control what thought comes in our head, so this is also a mindset thing. But now when you’re slowed down, you can choose if you want to play with that thought or not, or let it go.

Coach K 

You can be curious.

Sari de la Motte 

You can get curious about it, let it go and choose a thought that’s going to serve you. Now, you have a practice of both breathing. Tell me a little bit about your practice, because I know when you shared with me earlier that you have a practice you want to share with our listeners, are you talking about the one in the morning?

Coach K 

Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

Or do you have another one that you do?

Coach K 

Well, so the breathing is such an integral part of that practice.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah. So, tell us a little bit about that.

Coach K 

So I wake up in the morning and-

Sari de la Motte 

At 5:00 fucking AM.

Coach K 

I wake up in the morning at 5:00 AM and the first thing I do is I go to get my clothes, that I’ve already put aside for that morning, and I sit down and I do some four square breathing, which is you breathe in all the way, your stomach rises and your lungs expand, and you hold it for four seconds. And then you do the same thing breathing out, and you do that four times. And I do that while I’m putting my clothes on.

Sari de la Motte 

So, are you breathing in for four, holding for four?

Coach K 

You breathe in for however long it takes to expand your lungs and your stomach all the way out, and then you hold that for four seconds, and then you breathe out. So, all the air is out of your lungs-

Sari de la Motte 

So, however long that takes and then-

Coach K 

… and then you hold that for four seconds.

Sari de la Motte 

Got it. I didn’t know you did that before you left.

Coach K 

I do, that’s what I’m doing every morning when I sit down.

Sari de la Motte 

Oh, probably because I’m still asleep.

Coach K 

Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

But yeah, okay.

Coach K 

And what that does is it releases those chemicals right away that you need to start your day. And then I go out and I do my walk, and I’m paying attention to my breathing and it helps me stay really present. And I remember when we were at Canyon Ranch, one of the people we were working with there, she said, “What you could do to really help you be ultra present when you’re on your walks too is just pay attention to the dog. Be like the dog, see what the dog’s doing.” I’m not going to sniff the ground, but you know what I mean?

Sari de la Motte 

But you do pee.

Coach K 

No, I don’t.

Sari de la Motte 

Or poop?

Coach K 

No, nothing like that.

Sari de la Motte 

Are you sure?

Coach K 

No, I don’t. I don’t.

Sari de la Motte 

Okay, that’s good.

Coach K 

But all the while I’m breathing, I’m checking with my body while I’m walking, while I’m doing all the hiking and everything-

Sari de la Motte 

We call those pee-mails, by the way, when the dogs-

Coach K 

Yeah, we do call those pee-mails.

Sari de la Motte 

I came up with that.

Coach K 

Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

I came up with that.

Coach K 

It’s pretty good.

Sari de la Motte 

I think it’s pretty brilliant.

Coach K 

It’s pretty brilliant.

Sari de la Motte 

They’re read their pee-mails, or they’re smelling their pee-mails. But yeah, go ahead.

Coach K 

So okay, you digress. Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes, but I digress.

Coach K 

Yeah. So then I’m breathing, I’m checking in with that. And then, when I get down to the water I set my intention, but I’m doing my breathing practice as I set my intention. And I’m a recovering alcoholic so I say the serenity prayer, and I say it four times breathing with that four square breathing. And then I come back with the dog, get home and I do my lifting. I’m paying attention to my breathing the whole time.

Sari de la Motte 

Your arms look fabulous, by the way.

Coach K 

And then when I’m done, I lay down on the mat after stretching and I do my final four square breathing, and I say my final serenity prayer, because I do that stuff because I’m a recovering alcoholic, and that’s the start of my day. Then I get up and I get Elina some food, I take her to her strings practice, all that stuff.

Sari de la Motte 

And when you don’t do that, it’s a different day. I can attest to that.

Coach K 

Well, you brought up asshole earlier, or dick, or I don’t know what you said. Yeah. So the other thing is too, that you get so accustomed to bringing yourself to homeostasis.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes.

Coach K 

So then when you’re not doing it, you can almost be more triggerable or it’s just like this cognitive dissonance, because you’re like, “Why am I acting like this?”

Sari de la Motte 

Yes, yes.

Coach K 

“What the hell is going on?”

Sari de la Motte 

I just want to commend you because I don’t have that kind of commitment to get up at 5:00. And you’re really on it every day, and I know it’s been a practice ever since you got sober that’s really helped ground you. So, I want to acknowledge you.

Coach K 

Well, thank you. It’s essential, and routine and ritual are very, very important when it comes to addiction and recovery, but just in life, I mean as humans. I mean, when we start with children, children really respond well to routine. And as you grow older, these routines that you’re doing just for yourself because you’re in a profession that you are doing so much for others all the time, by the time you get home there’s really nothing left for you hardly at all. And then you go to sleep. So, if you take that back and you choose to do this every day, this is something that you can do. And it does not have to be this involved process like I’m talking about. If you just give yourself that four square breathing in the morning, in midday and before you go to bed, you are choosing to give yourself something that refuels you, charges your batteries and makes you show up the best person you can be.

Sari de la Motte 

If you’re a longtime listener, you’ve probably heard me say practice makes progress, and what better way to practice than with a fellow group of trial attorneys in person and with me. Our two-day Command the Courtroom masterclass sessions put the H2H method into action. I’m there every step of the way with live coaching and feedback, and Finnish mama fierceness. And don’t just take my word for it, here’s what PI attorney Sean had to say about our two-day masterclass.

Sean 

My biggest takeaway is that I now have a new approach as to how I’m going to enter the courtroom. It’s a new energy, a new spirit, and it really gets me excited because that’s actually the more fun part of what we do and I’m looking forward to taking advantage of everything that I learned here.

Sari de la Motte 

Now, seats are limited. These are small group, high impact courtroom sessions, not an auditorium full of bored attorneys and dull lectures. If you want to change the way you go to trial and turn your practice into progress, visit sariswears.com/masterclass to register for a 2026 class today. That’s sariswears.com/masterclass.

Yeah, and let’s talk about some actual communication things with breathing. So, it’s not just about being grounded and present and being able to retain information, it does all of those things. But also, as I say all the time, breathing is first of all, communicated. Other people pick up on your breathing. So, that’s why leaders show up as a leader when they can breathe under stress because people can tell.

Coach K 

Oh, yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

They may not be able to tell that you’re breathing or not breathing, but they know something’s off if you’re holding your breath. So it’s communicated, but it’s also contagious. And so, one of the things we talk a lot about in H2H is about the brain science behind jurors’ brains, and why it’s so hard to get them to talk and why it feels so awkward at the beginning, and why is voir dire so difficult? And it’s not because they hate you or they want to kill you, it’s because their brains or prefrontal cortexes have been taken hostage.

Coach K 

Hostage. Yeah.

Sari de la Motte 

And so, one of the things that you can do to help that is not only stop thinking of them as your enemy, but if you breathe well, that we know that the listeners take their breathing cue from the speaker. And so, that has the ability to affect how the jury is breathing. And if the jury is breathing, their prefrontal cortex comes back online and now they can talk about the principles in your case and all of the things, not to mention that breathing affects tone.

And so, we talk a lot about vocal patterns when we’re doing nonverbal communication work in our programs, and we talk about the authoritative voice pattern, which is the voice pattern that curls down. And we have the approachable voice pattern, which is a little bit more up and down, and it curls up at the ends of statements. Both of those voice patterns are appropriate at different times, but when you add breathing to them, or let’s say not breathing well, and now I’m being authoritative in my voice and now I sound angry because I’m holding it up in my chest, or now I’m using the approachable voice and now I sound ditzy and stupid, that’s one way that it gets communicated. So, it really also is a communication device-

Coach K 

It is.

Sari de la Motte 

… is that your breathing is going to affect how you move, it’s going to affect how you sound, and it’s going to affect how people experience you. I love this quote because I wrote it, which is authenticity shows people how you are, I’m sorry, who you are, but breathing shows people how you are. And how people experience you as a safe person really comes down to breathing, wouldn’t you say?

Coach K 

Yeah. And the reason why I brought this up the way I did and how my practice is and the reason why I do it this way is because these are all automatic things that we’re doing. You stand in front of people and you’re automatically presenting. Well, if you can be in this practice, what happens is you change that neural pathway. So, it’s like I’m standing and speaking, this is when I breathe well. You automatically go there because you’ve trained yourself and your body and your brain to do that automatically. That’s how it becomes this habit that changes your life, it changes the way you show up.

Sari de la Motte 

Well, that also reminds me too, is that so much of what we do when people come out to come Command the Courtroom or when I’m working on my masterminds is almost like exposure therapy. So, what we say to them is, “We are putting you in stressful conditions on purpose so that your nervous system can learn how to adapt and you can learn how to breathe under stress.” So, so much of being able to breathe under stress is to constantly put yourself in these positions, which they have ample opportunity for that, and be breathing. Or even noticing that they’re not breathing is a step. We always say awareness is the first level of learning. So, let’s talk about people who are like, “Okay, I get it. I need to be breathing better, I’m not doing it well. How do I do it?”

So, the first step is to just be aware how you are breathing. Yes. What are some other ways that they can become better breathers and learn how to change their practice?

Coach K 

Well, I mean, the main way is what I’m saying is if you’re going to do this, you have to do it every day and you have to do it consistently.

Sari de la Motte 

So start a breathing practice.

Coach K 

Start a breathing practice.

Sari de la Motte 

Now, that doesn’t have to be like … It can, like what you do. When I get up, I do breathing for so many minutes and I walk over to the water and I do it for so many minutes, but it could also just mean meditation.

Coach K 

Well, yeah. And what I was trying to communicate too with my spiritual practice is that I have designed it in a way that it’s very attainable. I can do it at any time. The four square breathing and just checking with my body, maybe two minutes. And I do that throughout my day.

Sari de la Motte 

They can do it on the drive home.

Coach K 

Yep.

Sari de la Motte 

But meditation is a great place if you are wanting something more formal. I know I meditate every morning and it’s just when you’re sitting there, there’s nothing else to do but breathe and focus on your breathing. So, that’s a great place-

Coach K 

And if it’s hard for you, you can do guided meditation. There’s apps and all those things.

Sari de la Motte 

Yep, that’s what I do. And then there’s also exercise. Exercise is a great place to become a better breather, because you are constantly using your respiratory system when you’re doing especially cardio, and that’s literally teaching you how to breathe under stress, because the healthier you get and the more cardio you do, the more your body adapts to learn how to breathe when you’re putting a physical stress on your body. So, you can actually create a practice, maybe that’s in the car or in the stall, bathroom stall before you go out and start your voir dire. You can also start an exercise program, you can meditate. Anything else that we’re missing there?

Coach K 

Well, what came to mind was that Dharma doctor that-

Sari de la Motte 

Oh, tell us about that. Yes, that’s great.

Coach K 

So, this thing is like a real quick cheater to get your nervous system calmed and it’s called, I believe it’s Dr. Dharma. And if you look it up, it’s just Dr. Dharma online and you’ll be able to go right to the website. And there are these little tabs, you can hold them in your hands-

Sari de la Motte 

We’ll put it in the show notes too.

Coach K 

We’ll put it in the show notes. You hold one in each hand and it vibrates, and there’s an app connected to it. So there’s visualizations, but you can even use them on their own if you’re just breathing and checking in with your body, and they go buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. And it’s this bilateral stimulation that just instantly calms your nervous system. When I was talking about the snow globe, all the snow settles and it’s within a matter of seconds, and it’s designed, it was made, created by an EMDR doctor who had been doing research over the years and tried to find something that anybody could use. So, this was applicable to anybody out in the real world.

Sari de la Motte 

Explain what EMDR is for our listeners.

Coach K 

EMDR is this, I said bilateral stimulation. It’s either eye or ear, but usually the standard is eye where you track a ball, and you have somebody that is facilitating a session so that you can go into memories that are traumatic memories. And it’s designed, you do these passes over and over and over again-

Sari de la Motte 

To calm your nervous system.

Coach K 

… to calm your nervous system but then also be with trauma. And if you read that book, The Body Keeps the Score, which is a great book, he talks about these things that are just a screaming in you get down to a whisper. It trains you to be with it in a way, in a healthy way to lessen your trauma.

Sari de la Motte 

Yes. And as you were talking, I was thinking it doesn’t have to be necessarily a breathing practice, although that’s highly recommended, but anything that gets you breathing-

Coach K 

Exactly.

Sari de la Motte 

… is what we want. So, the Dharma doctor will get you breathing because it’s got you focusing on that and it calms your nervous system, but maybe I do coloring, I do sweary coloring books, and that calms my nervous system. Or baths or walks, or whatever it may be, or spending time with family. Things that will calm your nervous system will automatically help you be breathing more calmly and more low.

Coach K 

And in that respect too, the other side is that you can be intentional about it to the point where you get into practice like, “When I stand in front of an audience, I breathe well. When I do these activities, I breathe well,” because you’re practicing it and you’re intentionally saying, “I breathe well in these situations.”

Sari de la Motte 

One of the craziest experiences of my life, because I’ve trained myself to breathe well in front of an audience, is when I was pregnant and I was keynoting and I couldn’t breathe well, because literally her little butt was just straight under my rib cage. Oh my gosh, it was so interesting. One of the top reasons or top ways to breathe well is to get your fucking life under control. And that’s where Kevin’s Momentum Coaching program comes in. So just as we end this episode, for those people who are interested in getting a coach, a kick ass coach like you, what’s Momentum Coaching and how can they try it out before actually going all in?

Coach K 

Momentum Coaching is a program that I’ve developed, and it’s one-on-one coaching, but then there’s also group coaching. So, there’s one-on-one coaching twice a month, just under an hour for each session. And then we have a 90-minute session that all my clients get together and it’s this really great group environment of attorneys where you can all be seen and talk about the things that you’re struggling with. But then also there’s a lot of different tools that I bring in and we work together on them. It’s a lot of fun. And then it’s a nine-month program at the end of the program, middle or end, depending on when you come in, there’s a two-day retreat. You come out, we work through all these skills, we get on our feet, we really get in our body. And these things that maybe were abstract concepts that you have a hard time grasping, you get here and you’re like, “Oh, okay. That’s the thing.” And it really clicks.

Sari de la Motte 

So, if they want to check out whether you’re the right coach for them, where would they go?

Coach K 

So, you go to sariswears.com/coaching.

Sari de la Motte 

Forward slash.

Coach K 

Forward slash coaching, and you’ll click on the Momentum Coaching, or the sample session button that’s just below Momentum Coaching. And you can get a session with me. We’ll dive into a topic that you want to, or if you’re having an issue finding a topic we’ll find something together, but we can go through that for 30 minutes and then we can discuss what the program’s all about if you’re interested in moving forward. But honestly, if you want to just get a session with me and check it out, that’s what this is designed for.

Sari de la Motte 

Yeah, and it’s free-

Coach K 

It’s free.

Sari de la Motte 

… to do a sample session with Coach K. So, why wouldn’t you do it? Well, thank you for being here and talking about one of my favorite topics, which is breathing.

Coach K 

My pleasure.

Sari de la Motte 

I appreciate you and everything you do for H2H-

Coach K 

Thank you.

Sari de la Motte 

… and also for our family.

Coach K 

Thank you. You too.

Sari de la Motte 

I love you.

Coach K 

I love you. I love you so much.

Sari de la Motte 

I love you so much. Are you guys uncomfortable yet?

Coach K 

Yes.

Sari de la Motte 

Okay, good. We did our job. All right, and I’ll talk to you all next week. Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to the very end of this episode, A+. I’m going to ask you to subscribe to the podcast, whether you’re one of the weirdos that like to watch it on YouTube or you just listen, make sure you hit that subscribe button. It helps the podcast grow and let other people find me y’all, but don’t stop there. Be sure to leave me a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. We want this podcast to reach as many ears and eyes as possible. Thanks again for listening and we’ll see you next time. Bye-bye everybody.